Saturday, October 6, 2012

Soft Femininity

Soft femininity is something every woman must constantly pursue because we are living in a world where it is being aggressively attacked.  Yet it's worth fighting for.  Especially if you are married.  

The Instincts of Men

God gave men natural instincts to protect and care for the vulnerable, and weak. They are attracted to those who need them, admire them, and appreciate them.  These male instincts are not conscious choices by men (real men), they are God given and they are good!  For a godly man, this means he will be naturally drawn to having a wife and children - both weaker than he and in need of his protection and provision.
  
Men who are effeminate are not born that way.  Men and women are all born with their respective God-given instincts.  Depravity somewhere in the upbringing subdues those who behave contrary to what God has designed. 


Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind. 1 Corinthians 6:9
And even as they did not like to retain God in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.  Romans 1:28

But back to our topic: soft femininity.  What does the bible say about it?  A lot actually.  There are many outstanding women in the Bible who give us examples of soft femininity.  A soft and feminine woman is altogether lovely in her man's eyes.  She concedes to his direction and leading.  She needs his wisdom and strength.  Did you know that the more you rely on your husband, the stronger he becomes?

A man has the instinct to protect, but it erodes when there is no one to protect.  It's like a muscle.  The more it is used the stronger it gets.  A good man is precious - like gold.  If you have one, as I do, don't take him for granted!  There is nothing like being cherished by a man.  What is at the core of most every movie and song?  Romantic love.  What we women want is devotion to us alone.  But too often, women forget what their man wants or don't bother finding out. It's imperative to not only find out but to give it. 

A wise woman seeks to find out what her man cherishes in his heart and spends time finding out what he likes, dislikes, his passions, his dreams, his causes and his talents.  

It's important to make ourselves lovely.  Never lose sight of this.  My husband deserves to come home to a pretty woman every night and have a hot meal ready and a warm bed waiting. No matter if you are not the most beautiful woman in the world, you are to your husband. Or at least you were when he chose you to marry.  

Making yourself beautiful for him starts from the inside.  Men are highly attracted to smiling, cheerful, funny women.  There is no way to completely encompass all there is to shoot for when becoming a full woman.  But there seek out some good resources to learn more.  

 I feel like a real woman when I am meeting my husband's needs.  What happens is miraculous.  The more that I meet his needs, the more he meets mine.  Talk about bliss!

I work on my appearance and spend time taking care of myself so that my husband is glad I'm his.  This is fun to do, but it is also a 'labor of love'.  It's tempting to let ourselves go after getting married.  But it's worth every second we can put into it to cultivate femininity.  The more opposite we are to masculinity, the more attractive we become to our man.

Feminine Traits to Cultivate

A softer voice. If your voice is deep, husky or in any way masculine,  practice a more feminine, higher pitch. Don't overdue or it will feel unnatural.  But a soft voice is a very becoming aspect of femininity.

Graceful Movements.  The graceful step of a feminine lady is lovely to behold.  Her footfalls are gentle and sweeping. Her graceful mannerisms are fluid and quite the opposite of a man's blunt, edgy stance.  Women actually used to take classes to learn this valuable trait.  One of the exercises to learn graceful walking is to put a book on your head and try to walk without the book falling off.  

A Softer Touch.  The touch of a woman should be lighter than a man's.  Our hands are often worn out from dishes, laundry and housework.  Take time to moisturize them before bed each night. When you touch your husband and children, be gentle.  Your kids should notice a stark difference between the touch of their mother and father.  

A Softer Face. We don't want our face to look stern most of the time.  Our faces reflect what is going on in our hearts and minds.  Make thankfulness a part of your thought patterns every day.  Make smiling your default setting.  Think on lovely things and your face will soften.  Meditating on God's goodness is a good place to start. 

Get or Stay Physically Fit.  Proverbs 31 speaks of the virtuous woman and how she strengthens her arms.  I think it's important to stay strong and healthy because our arms have a lot of hugging to do! :)  So find a way to get a walk in every day and lift weights a few times a week.  The benefits are innumerable and your firmer curves will be an aphrodisiac to your husband. 

Dress pretty.  Leggings are not pants. Tight pants are not attractive.  Low cut blouses are tawdry.  There are ways to dress attractively, but still maintain a decent level of modesty. Men are attracted to women.  Dress attractively for your own husband, not mine. :)  Men are very, very visual.  Don't make him fight his need to look at an attractive woman.  Be attractive to your husband. Most men appreciate long hair, subtle frills, glowing skin and  pretty scents.  


There are so many more I could list but I am out of time.  For more on this subject, there is a book called "Fascinating Womanhood" that I've not read all the way through, but I intend to once I have my own copy.  Today, let thankfulness pervade your thoughts for all that God has so graciously given you. 


Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. James 4:10



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

These are wise words. Thank you for speaking truth in a culture that would scoff at this. As a young wife and mother I have a lot to learn about this, but a few years ago I asked my husband what he prioritized and expected of me. One thing he said was that he never wanted to see me in sweatpants. It was helpful to have him list the things that he considered important and the things he didn't care so much about. Some of them were different than what I would have thought.
Thanks for an interesting post.
-Courtney