Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Reverence Your Husband

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

The older my kids get, the more clearly I see how extraordinary God's direction in this verse is. 

I have growing boys and they act like emerging bulls at times, which is to be expected. But never does my husband's authority and goodwill with them become so apparent and effective as when those little bulls arise. 

Young bulls need a solid foundation that only a loving father can provide.  It is amazing how important it is for them to absolutely know that Dad is the captain of his ship and his word is not only final, but that mom respects and honors him.

We were watching a Tim Tebow video recently and something he said really stuck with me. He said something to the effect of "I'm not perfect, but every time I succeed I get closer to excellence."  Isn't that a neat way to look at practicing at something?  We get closer to excellence.

You can tell a lot about a family by how much they laugh together.  At our house, it is regular occurence. Love, joy, peace and fellowship are the source of water that all children thirst for.  When it's in abundance, families flourish.

I think women who don't respect their husbands have children that don't respect their parents. When I have trouble with my attitude, I can feel it affect the whole house.  It is very unfeminine for a woman to be pushy, loud, brassy, bossy, etc.  These are inherently male traits like facial hair and bulging muscles. 

Men (real men) are attracted real women. And God made women to be feminine. Men are highly atttacted to women who smile, look up to them and respect them. 

Our children are completely dependent on the environment which their parents provide.  And like it or not, much is influenced by the woman of the house.  That's us! :) 

Edited for clarity:
The Noah Webster Dictionary defines reverence as: fear mingled with respect and esteem. 


The bible gives commands for both husbands and wives. Because God invented/created marriage he gets to make the rules. Therefore, he gives husband and wives different instructions. 

But it's important to note that NO where does it say for a man to make his wife respect him

Men have a greater need for respect than women and women have a greater need for love than men. 

Reverencing a husband is a choice. Any man who "demands" reverence is in error.  Do I fear my husband in terms of being afraid? No I don't.  But I do know that God takes the chain of command he created very seriously... and I do fear God. Fearing God is the beginning of wisdom. Only fools don't fear God. 

And only foolish women don't reverence their own husbands.  I know there are twisted thinking liberal women who make fun of God's way. But that is their misfortune. Most, if not all, of them will end up reaping what they have sown.

When things are going my way it's easy and natural to show respect to my husband. And most of the time he makes it easy, so I consider myself very blessed. My husband's a great guy.  But when it is difficult, there are times I have failed to reach the mark. 

God  commands us to love others (and that includes our husbands!) as ourselves. :) I think what makes it difficult is when a husband leads in a way or direction that we don't like.  We have an idea in our minds of what we want, where we want to go in life and how to get there.  And when a man makes a decision that makes his wife feel afraid, she is tempted to instruct, nag and teach him. But what he really needs is his wife's support. I saw a comical look at this principal when I watched Lampoon's Christmas Vacation a few years ago. The wife in that movie was so tolerant and supportive of her husband no matter how silly or crazy his ideas were. Another movie example of this was in The Out-of-Towners with Jack Lemmon. I couldn't help noticing how incredibly patient the wife in that movie was with her man. Inspiring and funny!

Reverencing your husband when you think he's wrong has much more power than we really understand.  Our children - boys especially - instinctively know that their dads are the authority in the home. 

Anytime your kids witness mom diminish their father's authority, it diminishes your family in subtle ways. And in time, a wife's slack attitude or irreverence will be mirrored to her from her children.  In fact, I believe they learn it from her. 

When a woman marries, she takes her husband's name - not the other way around - indicating the joining of her life to his. Her identity is woven into her husband which is a picture of Christ and his church.  


Ephesians 5:23-24 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be [subject] to their own husbands in every thing.

Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

Eww...rotten bones can't be good.  A man cannot help but be ashamed of a contentious wife.  And this scripture tips us off that it can actually be a contributing cause to a husband's ill health!

Some women look at their influence in the home as an ufair burden.  I choose to see it as the amazing honor that it is.  And our influence is underscored when we have the support and delight of our husbands.  

A man spells love "R E S P E C T".  For a great read on this subject, you might enjoy the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. 

Do you fear God enough to do what he says?  Even when your friends, sisters, relatives ridicule you for it?  Do you confuse reverencing or submitting to your husband with something awful?  Then you need wisdom. It is found in the person of Jesus Christ and the Bible. Fearing God is where it all begins.

Psalms 111:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever. 
Are you brawler?


Pr 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.  
Are you an angry woman?



Pr 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

My behavior either builds my house or tears it down.  Isn't it tragic that this is done with her own hands? 

Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.


It's in your own best interest to honor your husband - even when you believe he is wrong.  One of the many benefits beyond happy, stable children is that a husband who is consistently honored by his wife will value her opinion. 

It's the same in reverse.  Do you want your husband to still love you even when he thinks you're a brat?  A man will go against a contemptible wife deliberately, even if just to prove his manhood.  Women who don't understand that men are different and don't see things the way they do or react the same way, are dumb wives.  If that offends you, it's probably true for you because the truth often hurts.  I ought to know - it's taken me years to learn this. :)

The best thing a wife can do to build her house is to love her husband and reverence her husband.  When I find it really difficult and I haven't already messed up, I try to pray quietly and keep a guard on my mouth. 

Reverencing our husbands is a good thing. Not because I said so, but because God says so.  You are building a future that brings honor to God and provides your children with a secure foundation. 

One day my nest will be empty and I plan to have sweet golden years with my hunk o' gold.  How about you?  Will you be like a dripping faucet that will eventually drive him away? 

Fear God.

Reverence your husband.

Build your house.

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