Thursday, July 31, 2014

Family Begins with Marriage

There are a lot of couples who say that they "became a family" when their first child was born (or adopted). They will use phrases such as, "we are trying to start a family". But ladies, the fact is that your family started the day you wed your husband.

A husband and wife, by themselves, constitute a family. You were two, now you're one. ONE. It doesn't get any closer to that. In fact God places more unity, more familial bonds and more importance on the unity of a man and his wife (singular) than any other relationship including parenting relationships. Because children are passing through. They are a part of your family. But their arrival does not create a family. This fable is actually a notion perpetuated by the media. Talking heads. The power of the tongue, the printed news and the "experts" who elevate themselves above God's holy word.
Genesis 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
According to the Bible, Adam and Eve were blood relatives. Adam stated she was "bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh". He was marveling that there was now another like him because he had been the only human on earth up until her arrival. And he immediately declared that they should leave their father and mother (even though they had no "earthly parents") and the two shall be as ONE. The two of them were the first family.

So it is today. Nothing has changed in God's plan. When a man and a woman wed, a family is created. When children come along, they are added to the family.
Matthew 19:9 - And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Perhaps the misconception that a family is only complete when children are born has contributed to the rise in divorces?  Surely the watering down of the meaning and Author of marriage has contributed. A man and woman bound by Holy Matrimony should never allow anything to come between them. So remember that while your children are blessings and miracles from God, and they have your utter devotion to their care and upbringing, your family did not start with them.

It started when you said "I do".
"To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart — about a finger's breadth — for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule" — Marnie Reed Crowell


Jessica said...

When my cousin and his wife had their second child, she told me "I can see why so many people get divorced after having kids"! Proof we need to focus on having a strong bond with our spouse before children come along!

(they're still together and celebrate 13 year tomorrow, but I still can't et her comment out of my mind because it is so sad!)

Simply Keeping Home said...

Yes, the strain that child rearing can bring to a marriage is very real. Not only do we need a strong bond with our spouse, we need to have a unified approach to parenting. Conflicts are guaranteed to arise, but when you have a plan and an understanding of your roles, the rules, etc, you have a fighting chance.
Glad to hear your cousin's marriage is still intact!

Laura Spilde said...

This is very misunderstood today. It is actually the same as what scripture describes and won't change. Kinda like all babies are designed to come from the womb..... Eve......she gets herself deceived and then the same problems show up again and again.

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