Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Have you Been Blessed with a Hard Working Man?

Is your husband a hard working man?  If he were asked if his wife appreciated him, what do you think he would say?

It's such a privilege to be the keeper my home and take care of my family. Having a place to call home to call my own is truly a blessing. I try to remind myself throughout the day how blessed I am. 

Sometimes when tired of washing the dishes, I try to remember to thank the Lord for those dishes - they help me feed my family.  Same goes for the laundry. I have been without so many times in my life that I find it hard to complain about the piles of dirty clothes or if I get behind. I am thankful to God deep in my soul for how much He has blessed me with. I have sufficient clothes and linens for my family - a blessing! And I have my very own laundry facilities right inside in my home. Another blessing! No traipsing to a laundromat. 

When I clean the toilets in our home, I am thankful to God that I have indoor plumbing. Not everyone does! Some have a smelly outhouse, or worse.  When I clean the floors, I'm thankful they are not dirt floors. 

God designed women to be the keepers of their homes. Gratitude for what our husbands provides for our families should be the prevailing thought throughout the day. 


Children - Your Husband's Little Treasures
Children need to see us smile throughout the day. Even while we work! When we smile at the ordinary, we are modeling gratitude and gratitude is catching.  Children who can feel the ease in their mom's spirit and the thankfulness in her tone are learning more than she could ever teach them from a devotional book.  We are living textbooks to our children and they are watching every move we make.  It should make us stop and wonder what they are reading in us! Gratitude and joy or annoyance and frustration?
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men thrive on respect, admiration, appreciation and a smile on the face of their wife. I'm truly thankful that my husband is beside me in this mixed up world. My hard working man was up at 4:30 this morning getting ready for work. He was supposed to wake me up, but was sweet enough to let me sleep in and gave me a soft kiss goodbye at 5am. 

Focus on the Good
Life will always present us with problems, but if we focus on them, it leads to being a whining, unthankful, grump of a woman. Not very nice to come home to. Think about it: would YOU like to come home to you? When we focus our thoughts on what is GOOD (and just, pure, and lovely ~ Phillipians 4 KJB) the hard things in life will fade in comparison.  
Every time you show your husband that 
you love him, your children grow more secure.


Proverbs 14:1 says, "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."

Have you ever surveyed the condition of your household after inadvertently saying or doing something a little foolish? It's not pretty, is it? It takes longer to repair the damage that results from a foolish word or deed than the time and energy it takes to prevent it. (A stitch in time saves nine!)  An easy way for a woman to build her house is to pray and ask God for wisdom in the morning. Ask him to help you be thankful and help you to smile. Ask him to work and cultivate in you a meek and quiet spirit.  If your are an emotional, easily angered woman, you have got to lay it down. You are tearing your own house apart. 

Did you know that there is a guaranteed way to become instantly more wise and controlled?  

Simply be quiet. 
Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.


Sometimes we are prone to being especially talkative when we're feeling emotional, so we should be especially careful there.  Don't open the flood gates and utter all that is on your mind.  Choose your words carefully. Choose your responses even more carefully. The tongue is unruly, but it's especially so when we are upset.  

Anyone who keeps their thoughts and words "in till afterwards" shows great restraint which in turn shows wisdom. Being quiet saves a lot of grief and keeps you from plucking your house down with your own hands. Spend a few minutes each day thinking about what you are grateful for in your hard working man.  


Viva la Difference!
Men and women are different! And that difference should be celebrated! Men don't interpret things the same way as women and that's a good thing. Women appreciate hearing their husbands say "I love you". Husbands appreciate hearing their wives respect and admiration for them and why we love them.  Our husbands are more moved when we are impressed with something specific they've done rather than generalities. He wants and needs to know why he is special to you above all other men. 

Don't look down on his frailties and weaknesses and expect him to be "perfect" and worthy of your admiration. Admire him for the same reasons you let him put that ring on your finger. Reverence/respect him just because he's yours, whether he deserves it or not. Would you like to be loved only if you measured up to his ideal woman? Whatever your problem is with your man, turn the tables around and see if you have a problem with yourself.

Men are highly competitive and status oriented so we need to keep in mind the fact a husband's ego is actually rather fragile. God made men the way they are. And men need to be built up. Do you see what an honored position God gave to us as wives? A good man is a treasure.

I love, love, love to be my soul mate's Queen. 

Our admiration must reflect our husband's masculinity, dedication to his family, hard work ethic, business integrity and so forth.  How are some men lured away by other women? Flattery. Smiles. And even fluttering her lashes at him a little.

Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelidsFor by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Proverbs 6:25-26 KJV

When he's not getting the validation he needs at home, some men will resort to accepting a hollow alternative — flattery. 

I'm not suggesting you offer empty flattery to your man.  I'm saying that genuinely praising his worth and value to you is like water to his soul. 

Think about your husband throughout the day.  Remember what attracted you to him before you were married. Spend some time daydreaming about how enthralled you were with him.  Never neglect to stir that deep well of love inside you that is just for your husband. 

And don't forget to reflect on what attracted him to you! Did you dress nice for him?  Wear perfume and and a little makeup? 

Sometimes after we start having kids we're so exhausted from late night baby feedings and extra housework that we don't have the energy to put into our appearance like we used to.  We can get lonely for adult companionship and even deal with depression.  

But the truth, it takes only a few minutes to run a brush through our hair and apply a little blush and lip balm. Even if we've gained some weight, we can still bring out our beauty by giving high priority to daily cleanliness, silky hair, light makeup and flattering clothes. (And very tight jeans/pants and low cut blouses are truly not flattering.) I think we can dress to please God's standards for modesty as well as our husband's desire for a lovely wife. 


A Listening Ear
My husband often prays for the foul-mouthed men he meets in his work and he measures his words with them very, very carefully - sometimes saying nothing at all. When I am careful to listen, he shares little things that happened in his day.  The amount he tells me tends to depend on how I react. If I'm quick to pass judgment, I notice that his story ends pretty quickly. But if I just listen intently and say very little he tends to reveal much more than he normally would. I imagine every man longs to have a wife who is also his confidante. I so enjoy being my husband's best friend.



Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.



Men face tough competition in the work force and they don't need any more in their own homes. Home is supposed to be their safe haven.  They need to feel they can relax. 

Why do you think a man acts so tough when he's hurt everywhere accept to his wife?  Because with her he can let his guard down. Don't be offended if he belches, passes gas, or acts a little slovenly. 

A man needs to be encouraged, built up, understood and admired at homeMen are usually painfully aware of their shortcomings. I have to remind myself often that I'm not his personal critic. 

Women are wordy and I don't think a man finds that a desired character trait. We must learn to listen to our husbands. I am speaking to myself here as well, because just this week I caught myself failing at this. 


Recently my husband was sharing with me some things from work that made me feel he was being taken advantage of.  As he told of the various goings on and the problems they were causing him, my passion grew. Funny how our sense of justice can rise so quickly.  My husband is the kind of man who often patiently waits for things to right themselves.  Me...not so much.  I am learning though! So I have to be careful.


That day, I found myself "advising" him.  As soon as I realized it, I shut up and just tried to listen and smile.  This can be difficult when we have SO much to say, right?  But I'm glad I stopped when I did.  I prayed and gave the situation to the Lord and refocused my thoughts back on gratitude.



A man is king of his castle
and you are his queen


Do you tell your husband that you're thankful for him and appreciate him?  Or does he feel that all he does for you is merely "expected" of him?  It feels so nice to be appreciated. I know that no matter how expected my work is, it feels really good to be appreciated. 


In my observation, most men are truly and delightfully easy to please and most of them speak few words. They can feel appreciated by the slightest gestures of gratitude. 

Find out the ways that your husband best interprets your gratitude and begin finding ways to express your thankfulness to him regularly. 

You might be surprised by how this seemingly small token of your love will cause the garden of your marriage to blossom indefinitely!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is some seriously good advice! Thanks, I needed to hear that.

Anonymous said...

Thia article opened my eyes to a new way of loving and appreciating my man. I am a woman who is quick tempered and at times a critic. I needed to read this and I'm glad I stumbled upon it

Simple Home Living said...

OMG! I absolutely love this post! All I can say is AMEN! So true. I"m so happy that I found your blog. I have a passion for striving to be a Proverbs 31 women and its so inspiring to connect with women with the same passion! God Bless :)