Who has the most influence in the peace of my home? I think it's me.
If I show unthankfulness or let stress take hold of me, my kids get whiny and my husband gets grouchy. When I am thankful and smiling, my home is noticeably peaceful. Did you know that your smile only works right when your heart is thankful?
I've had guests remark how peaceful my home is. Is it always peaceful? Uh, nope. :) But it's the goal I continually strive for. Not the bad kind of striving, like always worried and reaching. But the steady pacing of myself, like a runner in a marathon kind of striving. It's a goal I keep in the forefront of my mind.
Smile. Relax the forehead. Go ahead, touch your own forehead. Feel any furrowing? How often is that going on? Are you stressed? Your family can see it on your face. Take it to the Lord in prayer.
I am so limited. I am so "not good" at some things. I think some women try to be good at too many things or take on more than they can handle and then they become stressed — with a capital S. It's stressful for me to be around them.
I have found peace in accepting my limitations. I cannot, repeat cannot, do it all. (And I wouldn't want to.) If something has to wait, or not happen, I'm okay with that. It's not always an easy pill for my husband to swallow. Sometimes he wants me to do a bunch of stuff that, in other marriages, is a shared responsibility between husband and wife.
I have nothing but good will toward my husband and I will try with all my might to do the things that help him most. But when I fall short, I let him know and he understands and takes up the slack. That's some good team work. ;-)
So, I try, and I do my best. But at the end of the day, if I don't accomplish what it is that I'm really not good at, I move on. I ask my husband for patience. And I trust God to accomplish what I'm not able to.
Other than that, the peaceful home has order, routine, discipline (root word: disciple) laughter and light. The light of God is within each of his children and we must shine it. Are your expectations clear? Do you find yourself frequently upset at your kids for their failures? Having simple house rules is a major component of a peaceful home.
When a child disappoints or fails you in some way (disobeying you and disappointing you are two very different things), it's not always wise to react on the spot. Wait for a bit and pray. You'll be in a better frame of mind to figure out the best way to resolve the issue.
When one of my kids forgets to do something (they are teens now), I tell them to make themselves a note so they'll remember about it the next time.
Posted schedules/routines worked well when they were younger. But since they've been in their teens, our lives have gotten more complicated and busy. Their dad has taken them to work with him periodically and often on the spur of the moment, which would throw my nicely organized schedule right out the window! ha. So I have learned to adjust my sails to the winds of change over the years and go with the flow.
Really, what do kids remember more - if everything on the to-do lists got checked off? Or the love and attitudes that their youth was soaked in. I'd say the latter. My goal is to find a happy medium between being scheduled and carefree.
When we treat our family with the same grace and love that we would a friend, all is well. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path. And your home will be more peaceful because of it!
Have a blessed day!