Friday, May 9, 2014


My desire is to please God with my conversation. I want my words seasoned with grace, patience, and discretion. The one place God has given me total control over is my mouth. I choose the words, the tone, the speed, the wisdom, the discretion. Or the lack thereof.  It's all my choice. No puppet strings here. We all know that.

The Bible has a lot to say about our conversation.  The words we speak are powerful.

The tongue is simple and tiny.  But without it we'd be unable to speak.  God says in his Word that death and life is in the power of the tongue and they that love it will eat the fruit thereof.

Words have fruit.

If you love life, your tongue will bear witness to that.  And you'll eat the fruit from the words you choose to say. We will reap what we sow with our conversation. That's good news if we put a gate at the lips and weigh our words before they spill out. But on the flip side, if we're in the habit of letting our tongue fly and thinking afterwards, we'll reap the consequences.

Death is in the power of the tongue also. And they that love it — death — will also eat the fruit thereof. Which makes you wonder —  who in the world loves death? It seems contraindicating, but the Bible actually says that some people love death. Let's see who these people are...

For whoso findeth me (wisdom) findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the Lord. But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death. Proverbs 8:34

So according to the Bible, whoever hates wisdom, loves death.

It cuts right to the chase, doesn't it?  It's like saying if you hate light, you love darkness. If you hate exercise, you love muscle atrophy.  If you hate fiber, you love constipation. You get the idea. :)

With my mouth, I have the power to bless (like Ruth) or to curse (like Job's wife, whose name was not even dignified with a record). I can use my conversation to stir up wrath or turn wrath away. I have total and complete power over what comes out of my mouth. As we all do.

How many people are faced every day with things they feel they have little to no control over? And yet here we have this one BIG area that God has given us total power of -- our mouth. We can't always control our thoughts, nor our emotions which are the predecessors of speech. But God gave us a gate - the lips. That we can control.
Psalm 19:13 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
James 1:24 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.

Whose heart was deceived in that last scripture? The man who doesn't watch his mouth deceives his own heart. Too many words, too little discretion, thought and wisdom.

Some research studies have indicated that women speak 20,000 words a day and men average about 7,000.  I think this indicates that men tend to weigh their words more carefully before they speak  than women do. We could take a lesson there. Who did the serpent in the garden of Eden target? Eve. She was more easily deceived. The two go hand in hand. Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a woman of chaste conversation.

Luke 2:17 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

The Bible also says that a wife's chaste conversation can "win" her husband. There is nothing that will reveal who a person is faster than what comes out of their mouth and how it comes out. Chaste indicates both attitude, manner as well as words.

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 

Chaste is the root word for chastise, chasten, chastening, chastened. It implies that a woman self-moderates her words. She weighs her words very carefully before they are permitted past the gates of her lips.

Ephesians 4:20 If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. 
Psalm 50:23  Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God. 
I am amazed at how the dynamic of my household improves or deteriorates with the words of my mouth. I am more and more becoming slow to speak and quick to listen. Which is a must when your kids reach their teen years and suddenly think they know just about everything. *wink* ha!

I listen to them more carefully and try to sum up my thoughts in fewer words as they get older. I've noticed that our relationship is strengthened and they are more endeared to me. Which is great because I am totally bananas for my kids and it's great to get some authentic love in return. :)

Concerning my husband, guarding my conversation with and around him has had a wonderfully profound affect on our marriage over the years  And it endears me to him as well.  Instead of rattling off whatever is on my mind, I've learned to take most of my complaints and concerns to God and let him do the dirty work. He's so much better at it anyway. It is so fun to watch prayers being answered right before my eyes.

Is your husband the spiritual leader that you long for in your home? Walk uprightly before the Lord, bridle your tongue and pray for your needs. With a meek and quiet spirit, accept the circumstances of your life knowing that you have a high priest who knows all too well what you're going through and is waiting for you to put your faith where your mouth is. Ask for your needs, then wait.

If you're struggling in some area of your life, may I suggest that there may be a connection in some way to your conversation?  Internal conversations count, too!  They influence our thought patterns and the treasure of our hearts...which has the potential to eventually spill out of our mouth.

Matthew 12:34 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things:and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned

The good news is that, unlike long term projects like weight loss, bridling our tongue has instant gratification. The effects of speaking only deliberately good things is instant, too. When I'm frustrated or upset, I've learned it's best to wait till I'm calm. I want to bless God with the words I say. Remember what our mothers told us when we were little? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. :-)  Good advice!

God bless your day today, sisters in Christ!

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